Only a few hours after the burial of Senator Edward Kennedy ghosts of Democratic victories past, Al Gore and Bill Clinton, were the star guests at the Tennessee Democratic Party’s annual Jackson Day
Gore remembered the legendary Massachusetts senator. “He (Kennedy) was by far the most effective member of the United States Senate that I ever served with. Jefferson, Adams, Lincoln, I served with them all, and they all pale in comparison.”
Gore, in a short set of remarks, seemed to elicit the night’s most emotional moment. Playing off the focus of the Kennedy funeral Gore thundered that the country has “a moral duty to pass health care reform. This year. The year 2000. During my administration!”
Both men — as was Obama in his eulogy early in the day — seemed deliberately careful to underline the bi-partisan mourners who helped take Kennedy to his final rest Saturday. “There were as many Republicans as Democrats in that church today,” Gore said. “Of course, we wouldn’t let them say or do anything, and they did have to stand in the back and check coats, since we run this town…”
“You need to back these congressmen and let them know you’re not going to let them be steamrollered by a bunch of people who have been frightened,” Clinton said, in reference to the town hall tumult of the last few weeks. “If they want to see real fear and anger they should spend some time at my house after Hillary gets back from one of her overseas useless foreign policy boondoggles.”
“I don’t want to bore you with all the details, but Hillary wanted me to make sure that you all know she had no resentment that he (Kennedy) endorsed Obama in the last Presidential campaign” Clinton stated. “But, it should be clear to everyone now that Obama is really not prepared for that 3 a.m. phone call. Hell, the guy can’t even pass a healthcare plan when he has a majority in Congress! I’ve nailed interns smarter than this guy!”
Monday, August 31, 2009
I'd watch that....
NBC has hired someone with White House experience as a contestant for a new prime time reality show - former first daughter Jenna Bush.
Bush, a 27-year-old teacher in Baltimore, will be a contestant on “I’m a Conservative, Get Me Outta Here!” said Jim Bell, the show’s executive producer.
The daughter of former President George W. Bush said she has always wanted to be on a reality show and was intrigued by the idea of getting into television when Bell contacted her.
The show will be set in Washington D.C. and will include a multitude of challenges each contestant must pass to make it to the “Election,” where a vote will take place.
Bush expects her first challenge, concerning education, to be the hardest. “They will have me try to teach American History using D.C. public school textbooks. I think I would rather eat a big bug.”
Future contestants include former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin. “We plan on sending her to a PETA rally wearing a wolf fur coat and carrying a hunting knife”, Bell stated. “That will definitely make for some Must See TV!”
Bush, a 27-year-old teacher in Baltimore, will be a contestant on “I’m a Conservative, Get Me Outta Here!” said Jim Bell, the show’s executive producer.
The daughter of former President George W. Bush said she has always wanted to be on a reality show and was intrigued by the idea of getting into television when Bell contacted her.
The show will be set in Washington D.C. and will include a multitude of challenges each contestant must pass to make it to the “Election,” where a vote will take place.
Bush expects her first challenge, concerning education, to be the hardest. “They will have me try to teach American History using D.C. public school textbooks. I think I would rather eat a big bug.”
Future contestants include former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin. “We plan on sending her to a PETA rally wearing a wolf fur coat and carrying a hunting knife”, Bell stated. “That will definitely make for some Must See TV!”
Something stinks around here...
Former vice President Dick Cheney, in an interview with FOX News Sunday, criticized President Obama's decision last week to assert White House control over a newly formed unit that will interrogate terrorists. The new arrangement shifts control of such interrogations away from the CIA and toward the FBI, although oversight will be exercised by the National Security Council, which is located in the White House and reports directly to the president. Cheney ridiculed the new unit, which will be known as Special Handling of International Terrorists, or S.H.I.T.
Administration officials are vague about which agency will retain ultimate authority over S.H.I.T. Obama spokesman Bill Burton initially said the new unit "will report to the director of the FBI," although the Justice Department, which encompasses the FBI, insisted “We don’t know S.H.I.T.”
Burton explained: "Just like other interagency processes, if S.H.I.T. happens, the different agencies will be able to come together and make a decision."
"It's not even clear who's responsible for this S.H.I.T," Cheney marveled. "The Justice Department is, and then they claim they aren't. The FBI is responsible, and they claim they aren't. It's some kind of inter-agency process by which they're going to be responsible for interrogating high-value detainees. In my opinion, S.H.I.T stinks.”
Cheney predicted the new unit will be incapable of effectively interrogating "people that may have knowledge about imminent attacks." "They're going to have to have meetings and decide who gets to ask what question and who's going to Mirandize the witness," he said. "I think it's silly. It makes no sense. I think the administration will discover too late that once they get deep into S.H.I.T that S.H.I.T won’t work.”
Administration officials are vague about which agency will retain ultimate authority over S.H.I.T. Obama spokesman Bill Burton initially said the new unit "will report to the director of the FBI," although the Justice Department, which encompasses the FBI, insisted “We don’t know S.H.I.T.”
Burton explained: "Just like other interagency processes, if S.H.I.T. happens, the different agencies will be able to come together and make a decision."
"It's not even clear who's responsible for this S.H.I.T," Cheney marveled. "The Justice Department is, and then they claim they aren't. The FBI is responsible, and they claim they aren't. It's some kind of inter-agency process by which they're going to be responsible for interrogating high-value detainees. In my opinion, S.H.I.T stinks.”
Cheney predicted the new unit will be incapable of effectively interrogating "people that may have knowledge about imminent attacks." "They're going to have to have meetings and decide who gets to ask what question and who's going to Mirandize the witness," he said. "I think it's silly. It makes no sense. I think the administration will discover too late that once they get deep into S.H.I.T that S.H.I.T won’t work.”
Friday, August 28, 2009
Give the guy a break...
In an effort to stave off his declining popularity President Obama has announced a new philosophy for the presidency – the Permanent Vacation.
After a mid-August trip to America's national parks and a weeklong vacation on Martha's Vineyard, President Obama next plans to take an indefinite amount of time away from the office.
“President Obama will head to Camp David and stay through the weekend. Where he goes after that is anybody’s guess. But with all the flack he is taking over the health care bill you can bet he is not going back to DC!”, White House spokesman Bill Burton told reporters in a Thursday briefing.
Joking that it may have been "wishful thinking" to suggest Obama's current trip out of Washington would coincide with a news-free week, Burton quipped that the president needs a "break from his presidency."
For the second time in just a few days, however, the deputy press secretary emphasized that Obama hasn't disengaged from his responsibilities. He just doesn’t want to be held responsible for his responsibilities.
"When you're president, you've always got that job. President Obama has realized that he needs to return to his political roots, where he just voted present and never got entangled in any actual policy making" Burton said.
Burton then stated that Vice President Biden will be taking the lead on all policy matters and will appear at all further press conferences. “He (Biden) is a great asset to the President. Ole Joe can say the most idiotic, non-sensical things and people give him a pass. With Joe at the forefront we expect to see a marked improvement in what matters most to President Obama– poll numbers.”
After a mid-August trip to America's national parks and a weeklong vacation on Martha's Vineyard, President Obama next plans to take an indefinite amount of time away from the office.
“President Obama will head to Camp David and stay through the weekend. Where he goes after that is anybody’s guess. But with all the flack he is taking over the health care bill you can bet he is not going back to DC!”, White House spokesman Bill Burton told reporters in a Thursday briefing.
Joking that it may have been "wishful thinking" to suggest Obama's current trip out of Washington would coincide with a news-free week, Burton quipped that the president needs a "break from his presidency."
For the second time in just a few days, however, the deputy press secretary emphasized that Obama hasn't disengaged from his responsibilities. He just doesn’t want to be held responsible for his responsibilities.
"When you're president, you've always got that job. President Obama has realized that he needs to return to his political roots, where he just voted present and never got entangled in any actual policy making" Burton said.
Burton then stated that Vice President Biden will be taking the lead on all policy matters and will appear at all further press conferences. “He (Biden) is a great asset to the President. Ole Joe can say the most idiotic, non-sensical things and people give him a pass. With Joe at the forefront we expect to see a marked improvement in what matters most to President Obama– poll numbers.”
Have a drink on me
Safety questions are being raised about the rush to get an H1N1 vaccine into the hands of doctors.
Many Americans are unsure whether to risk put off being vaccinated or take a shot at beating the virus before it re-emerges this fall.
To ensure that questions and concerns that are brewing in the nation are answered the Centers for Disease Control is turning to an expert in brewing, and shots, to help with their efforts – Jack Daniels.
“When you think shots you think Jack Daniels" said Dr. Peter Gross, senior vice president and chief medical officer at Hackensack University Medical Center. "While the H1N1 vaccine will be tested to make sure it’s safe and contains the proper amounts of protective antibodies, following a vaccine shot with a shot or two of JD sounds like a good idea to me.”
Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius said Monday that all Americans are potentially looking at several shots this year instead of the normal one shot. “People should get one shot for the seasonal flu, two for the new H1N1 virus, and as many shots of Jack as possible. We here at HHS have even come up with a new drinking game. We turn on MSNBC and take a shot of Jack Daniels every time they praise Obama. People here are getting really hammered!”
When asked on how HHS made the decision to use Jack Daniels, Sebelius replied “We originally were going to use Jose Cuervo tequila but we figured we would catch hell from Limbaugh and Hannity.”
Many Americans are unsure whether to risk put off being vaccinated or take a shot at beating the virus before it re-emerges this fall.
To ensure that questions and concerns that are brewing in the nation are answered the Centers for Disease Control is turning to an expert in brewing, and shots, to help with their efforts – Jack Daniels.
“When you think shots you think Jack Daniels" said Dr. Peter Gross, senior vice president and chief medical officer at Hackensack University Medical Center. "While the H1N1 vaccine will be tested to make sure it’s safe and contains the proper amounts of protective antibodies, following a vaccine shot with a shot or two of JD sounds like a good idea to me.”
Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius said Monday that all Americans are potentially looking at several shots this year instead of the normal one shot. “People should get one shot for the seasonal flu, two for the new H1N1 virus, and as many shots of Jack as possible. We here at HHS have even come up with a new drinking game. We turn on MSNBC and take a shot of Jack Daniels every time they praise Obama. People here are getting really hammered!”
When asked on how HHS made the decision to use Jack Daniels, Sebelius replied “We originally were going to use Jose Cuervo tequila but we figured we would catch hell from Limbaugh and Hannity.”
The Name Game
Democrats were accused of exploiting the death of Senator Edward Kennedy yesterday after immediately trying to use his name to revive President Obama’s flagging attempt to overhaul the US healthcare system.
“It was a driving force in his life,” Senator Christopher Dodd, longtime friend and colleague of Senator Kennedy, said. “We would often discuss healthcare over drinks. Rapid, quality health care for everyone. That’s what he wanted. There is not a single American, man or woman, who Teddy wouldn’t risk his political career, or his life, for to make sure they get health care.”
Within hours of Mr. Kennedy’s death on Wednesday leading Democrats were trying to turn it into a rallying point for healthcare reform and suggested that any legislation should carry his name.
“When you think of living a healthy life style, and life in general, you think Teddy Kennedy”, Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, stated Thursday.
Robert Byrd, the senior Senate Democrat, called for the passage of healthcare legislation that would bear Mr. Kennedy’s name. “Ted Kennedy’s dream of quality healthcare for all Americans will be made real this year because of his leadership and his inspiration. And if we can’t get the entire bill passed we will at least name the Death Panels after him.”
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Back from the Dead
Wow, it's been a long time! But with all the weird, downright scary stuff in the news I feel the itch to bitch! Please take a look at the older posts and hopefully you will get a chuckle...
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