Just Beat It

Michael Jackson’s return to the airwaves Monday with a new song from a two disc CD, “This Is IT” has caused quite a lot of buzz in the music industry. Not for the music but for the CD cover, which features a sequined gloved hand, grabbing what appears to be a rather large male crotch.

“I never knew Michael was so well endowed!” a stunned Brooke Shields said in an interview with PEOPLE magazine. “If “IT” was that big it is amazing he was able to walk, let alone moonwalk.”

First wife Lisa Marie Presley, in an interview with In Touch magazine, commented that “even though he (Michael) was my husband we never “did the deed” if you know what I mean. I never even saw him naked. And he always slept in that air chamber thing so it wasn’t like I had a chance to even get close to “IT”.”

Debbie Rowe, Jackson's other ex wife and mother of two of Jackson’s three children, told the National Enquirer that "IT sure looks bigger than the test tube his kids all came outta!"

Legendary actress and long time Jackson supporter Elizabeth Taylor issued a written statement. “While I never had the occasion to actually see “IT” I do recall several occasions where I saw Bubbles the Chimp walking with a very serious limp.”