Game On

President Obama phoned the leaders of the Czech Republic and Poland to tell them the U.S. intends to "withdraw from its missile defense project in the Czech Republic and Poland" that has angered Russia. Instead of giving the countries radar screens and rockets President Barack Obama has decided to provide each country with a Nintendo Wii system with Madden 2010.

“Nobody knows if Iran will someday have nuclear bombs and launch them on missiles towards Europe,” Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told reporters. “But with the Wii system these countries can launch bombs of their own, playing as Tom Brady or Brett Favre!”

"It is most unfortunate that the U.S. administration will scrap the missile defense project," said Jaroslaw Gowin, a lawmaker with Poland's ruling Civic Platform party. "But the U.S. alternative will provide our country hours upon hours of gaming entertainment. And, besides, if Iran launches nukes they will be flying over our heads, on their way to some important country."

Alexei Arbatov, head of the Russian Academy of Science's Center for International Security, told a Moscow radio station Thursday that the new plan was an indication the U.S was giving in on missile defense to get more cooperation from Russia on Iran.

"The United States believes this action will make Russia take a harder line on Iranian sanctions. Of course, that will not be the case”, Arbatov stated. “Sure, we hate Iranians as much as the next guy. But we love watching the Yankee Dogs in Washington squirm over whether or not Iran will get nukes. And, to be honest, we thought we would never see a president more inept at foreign policy than that idiot Jimmy Carter. But we were mistaken. Obama makes Carter look like Ronald Reagan! It’s hilarious.”