Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Getting Out While the Getting is Good

In an unprecedented turn of events the general in charge of US Forces in Afghanistan has halted all military operations and has ordered all troops out of the country and back to their bases in the United States.

Gen. Stanley McChrystal issued the orders after the responses he received from the White House regarding a pending request for an additional 30,000-40,000 troops, and his dire assessment of the Afghan campaign.

“When I called they put me on hold for an hour, which is bad enough. But the entire time I had to listen to rap music. That is worse than waterboarding,” the general stated.

When he finally talked to the President the message he got was unexpected. “I figured after all the speeches during the presidential campaign about how important Afghanistan was that my requests would be granted. But all the president talked about was hope and change and how Bush is losing the war for us.”

After speaking with the president, McChrystal was transferred to White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel. “I was told by Mr. Emanuel that a plan for Afghanistan was being developed by Vice President Joe Biden and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. After I finished laughing, I had him repeat who was developing the plan a couple of times, just to make sure he wasn’t pulling my leg. He wasn’t. So I pulled the troops out.”

Asked what his next move would be McChrystal was noncommittal. “I do not know for sure. If someone in Washington actually comes up with a decent plan we’ll go back in. But with this bunch, figure the odds. So I’ll probably give the troops a month or two of rest before our next operation. Right now I am drawing up plans for the invasion of Daytona Beach.”

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