Iran So Far Away

President Barack Obama has enlisted an unlikely ally in his fight to pass his health care reform bill – Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

“I have been struggling to get my word out to the American people about health care reform. Then I saw Mahmoud and the idea just came to me.” Obama said. “He is a very persuasive speaker. Not only can he help us on healthcare but we get the added bonus of putting a local face on our Middle Eastern policy”

Plans are being made for Ahmadinejad to address the American people next Wednesday in prime time.

“It was a pleasure to do this favor for my Muslim brother,” the Iranian President said through an English interpreter. “And I am looking forward to helping President Barack Hussein Obama implement the changes he has planned so that his country and mine can move forward as partners against Israel.

“Health care is an unfair system that has reached the end of the road and is unable to move,” Ahmadinejad said. “Just like our brothers in Palestine who are forced to live in squalor by the Zionists.”

Ahmadinejad assailed what he called “despicable forms of intimidation and deceit in the name of blocking change.” “It is no longer possible to humiliate people and impose double standards on them with regards to health care. Death to Israel!”

“Do not listen to the capitalist insurance companies and Republicans who speak of Death Panels. These panels, much like the so called Holocaust, did not and will not happen. And of course our nuclear ambitions are peaceful. Allahu Akbar.”